spech

ok, i'm in spech club, right? ...well mabe you didn't knwo that but i am so there. and my spech coacht wants us all to make a spech for a contest, memorize and what not. the prompt for it is "why me why not" and while i can many different way to interpret that, the only one he can see is "find what suck abuot your life, complane about it then find some inspiring inner resolve and over come this hard ship in your life." and write a spech about it.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
you idiots might not realize this but our life is great. the fact that you are alive is great. GREAT. if you are reading this that means that you are near a computer, and the fact that you have SEEN one, much less used it makes you incredibly lucky. so you know what!? i'm not going to write and inspiring sech about how sucky my life is because i know how bad it could be. how every thing can change in a SECOND and what sucked about your life a minute ago now seems like so increadibly trivial and microscopic.
remember the little boy whos parents both died that i wrote about a couiple posts ago. think about his life. think about his damaged world, then think about what you were complaning about a second ago. getting your x box taken away for a week becasue of some thing STUPID that you did still seem so horrible!?
i'm done here.

yeah... uh.....

ok, i've been working on a rant all dya and i finnaly get time to put it down and wham. there it went. what ever. uh, i started reading the twighting series... tuesday? i don't know. and i'm on page 309 or some thing. i'm so proud of mia self.theres - I REMEMBERED THE RANT!!! YES!!!- ok, heh, so there's this character named edward in the book and he's a vampire, but totally awsome and i have litteraly fallen in love with him. i touch the book and my heart goes raceing. it's totally insane and he's wonder ful. so i've figured this out(along with some help from clair) i have PPD - personality projection disorder-. it's where you take some ones personality from a book or movie and project it onto some one else. or your self. for example- i've been projecting edwards perfect and flawless person ality on to him, and bells(that's the main character) onto myself. i've fallen more in lov- i mean like with him and have begun tripping over things- much as bella does. i've figured out that PPD is one of many precursers to DDD- or day dreamers drepression- wich is way to hard to explan but i'll try. it's like where youre deeply drpressed when you figure out that the characters on a book realy are nothering more than ink on a page or that most of you hopes and dreams are nothing more than wiskfull thoughs that will soon pass- yah? please vote on the poll i'd like to know if any of you have xperianced PPD or DDD

one more thing-

she is not my "friend" no one is*emoness*. and my finger nails are not pink with little vermin all over them they are black*more emoness* so there you go.

blethch

no it's not pronouced how it's spelled. if you want to know how to pronounce it go throw up. and listen to the sound you itiot!!!!! now then if you want to know why my aday has been the equivalent of throwing up multiple times read on>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>>> and on>>>>>>>>>
keep going>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> that's far enough. to day i had a speech contest. no i don't think i'll start the desrition of my day like that.... ok how does this sound: my life is like a realy realy realy realy realy bad soap opra. with the cheesy organ and evey thing.
ok the simple and very cleshaed plot line:
girl. meets guy. likes guy. tels guy. gets re-gect-ed. crys. guy leaves.mabe not crys id on't have that much emothon.. i mean girl does not have that much emotion. ----time passses---- meets new guy. likes new guy. tells new guy. new guy likes her. happy. ----sumer---- guy moved on. girl stuck. still stuck. and still stuck. hates likeing him. joins speech club. goes to speech competition. sees FIRST GUY. descovers that he is now HOT. hates him for being hot and surrounted by beautiful girls that are on his speech team. that have bigger.... uh....... "lips"than me...HER..... if you know what i .... SHE..... means. sees him play basket ball. well. she is now confuzed by this and unsure of her of her feeling being dead for him and still breathing for the second guy. hate cleshed life. vents on blog. repeat.

and there you go. i need to go be emo now talk to my WIERD FRIEND who is here 2 (please kill me or save me from her happiness gah!)

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm ivy's friend Lily! I'm here on her blog today while she's away being her old pessamistic self!!(which is really painting her fingernails pink with puictures of fluffy bunnies on them, but don't tell her I told you that. It's our little secret! Whheeeeee!!!!!) Isn't that just groovy????!!!!!! YAY!!!!

I suppose you are wondering about me....maybe not, but I don't care, cuz I'm gonna tell you anyway!!!!! My name's Lily, and I'm sorta a Hippy! YAY! I can also spell!! Well, better than Ivy can, at any rate... My life is like one of those chessy novels about the weird girl who is smart and rather dislikes so-called "popular" people. Except for the part where i'm kinda a hippy.... but other than that, you know. Now, i'm gonna tell you all the stuf that happened to me today... Fir-- BANG gah!!!!!

now thats enough happiness for one day. sighning off.

what?

isn't hat just such a simple question? "what?" but behind those 4 letters can hide so much. for example: at one of the school my mom works a first graders dad killed the kids mom and grandmother in the street then jumped off a bridge. now think about that. when some one came into the class to tell this kid that his inocent 6 year old world had just ended quickly and violently they might have called his name. he could have said "what?" iv'e been thinking. thinking a lot and God thank you. thank you so much for i am so lucky. i have two parents who love me and a sister whos alive and not into drugs and for all i know has neer kissed a guy and she'll be shipped off to a military acadimy next year. i dont know lost. not big loss. my grandparents are dead but i was to litte to get it. get that they would not come back. and i think i still am.
we do all we can to avoid death. it's the only thing we humans cannot understand fully. for every thing there is a justification. numbers words something to explane it. but not death. theres no equasion to show what comes next. and for people like me where every thing is a puzzle that can be solved in time that's infuriateing. yeah i fear death. i'm a coward that way. but i fear other things more than death. what bothers me more though is kids with terminal cancer or something that might be afraid or not of death but are so strong. so strong, and that just boggles my mind. they are losing evey thing and yet they are stong.
i've known little lose or plain fear for that matter. my grandparents and my old cat frank. vright now i think i view death like an animal. in truth animals don't mourn death. they notice the decieceds absence and might feel lonly for a while but they soon recover from it. i'm like that. i cried little for my cat one he was dead, but more while he suffered. more to come on this.

heh heh.....

uh....... for all you stalker reading this i would ask you to skip the next paragraph for it is intended for my blog alone:
oh bloggie!!!!!! i am oh so sorry!!!!! i promis never to neglect you so again!!!! bloggie..... oh bloggie..... hopw ive missed you, your soft green background and the many anime characters that watch all those as they read. oh bloggie!!!!!!!!! i love you!!!!!

.....O.o
now then. back to me emotionless self. lol. no it does not stand for laf out loud. it stands for loonies over lunch for your information. well i apologise to all 2 1/2 of my readers for now posting for a month.
....-_- and now i suppoed you expect and explanation for my prolonged absence.
mabe even feel you deserve one for taking time out of your day every day to come and read about my pathetic existance only to be hoppelessly crushed by the fact that i have not posted again. you have burst into tears now, realizing that reading these pestamistic few lines is the only reson that you get up in the morning, the only thing that gives your mediocer life any perpose much less spice of "vim". ..... right?
well i dont owe you any thign!!!!! ahahahahahahahahahahah!!! yes i know "thing" is misspelled, i did that on purpose so there!!!!! ha!